“di Blavisi, the nom de guerre of the New York image artist borne of Antarctican parents and subsequently raised in the Ukrainian steppes, learning the horsing skills of the Cossack clans he could only hope to call his own . . . Wait: let me start over. This guy takes pretty good pitchers.”

– Aldous Kleinnerstanphel, NY Moments, some time in the past, possibly.

“I told you before, you can’t park here. If you park here, I gotta write you a ticket. If I gotta write you a ticket, your car is gonna get towed. Now, move your vehicle.”

– Badge 90130, NYC Port Authority Police.

“I laughed, I cried – hold on, I think that was Cats. Oh, the photographer? That’s what I’m supposed to write about? Are photos classified as art yet? How come there aren’t any pictures of babies? Everybody likes babies. Well, they’re colourful, at least. Some of them, anyway.”

– Gertie Boonmacher, The Village Cryer, paid reviews / “Style” section, two weeks from now or as soon as they sell enough advertising to pay for the print run.

“Number 82? Serving 82. 82?”

-Deli Clerk, Major Food Chain That Is Not Whole Foods, today.

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